27 Things You Should Let Go Of To Be Happier and Live Your Best Life
Do you ever find yourself saying, “I would finally be happy if only…”, but never truly feeling that happiness come to life? It feels like there’s always something preventing you from finding inner peace and happiness. However, with this post, you’ll learn how you can give up a few things in your life that are preventing you from finding that true happiness.
A lot of times we think about finding happiness through adding things to our life. You know like you’ll finally be happy if you find a boyfriend, make more money, get a dream job, take an awesome vacation, etc.
And while those things will likely bring you joy, it’s also important to reflect on the things you are currently doing that might be contributing to your quality of life.
This post is going to give you 27 things you should give up to be happier.
1. Caring what other people think
Caring so much about what other people think is a major contributor to unhappiness. By worrying what someone else will think of you, you may find that you are hiding your true personality or going against what you want to do just for the sake of appearances to other people.
Be yourself, and stop worrying so much about how someone else might perceive you.
2. Unreasonable diets
Do you find yourself embarking on crazy, restrictive diets to lose weight? While you might be thinking that the end result of losing weight will be what finally makes you happy, I’m willing to bet you will feel a whole lot happier giving up that unreasonable diet.
A major contributor to unhappiness is unhealthy eating – and that includes not eating enough or eating unhealthy foods.
By focusing on developing a healthier meal plan with foods that are good for you, rather than starving yourself, you will make lasting lifestyle changes instead of a temporary fix.
3. The scale
Putting pressure on the numbers you see on the scale is a sure fire way to feel unhappy. If you weigh yourself every morning, you probably find yourself feeling disappointed at least some of the time.
And the main reason? The scale is not the whole story! Not even close.
Your weight naturally fluctuates every day depending on what you’ve eaten, how hydrated you are, the time of day, etc. The number you see on the scale also doesn’t account for things like muscle vs. fat. If you’ve embarked on a new exercise plan where you’ve added some muscle, you might see the numbers go up instead of down like you might be expecting and hoping for.
4. Life timelines
Another thing you should give up to be happier is measuring your life against a specific timeline you’ve set for yourself. If you think you need to get a dream job by 25, married by 28, kids by 35, etc., you are putting pressure on yourself where you don’t need to be.
While it’s good to set long-term goals for yourself, there should also be some room for adjusting the plan and letting things happen as they are supposed to.
You might be more likely to settle for someone who doesn’t make you happy instead of holding out for your perfect match just because of an arbitrary timeline of when you think things should happen.
5. Social media
Social media can have a negative impact on your confidence and happiness. Social media is often focused on getting validation from other people in the form of likes and comments instead of freely expressing yourself.
Social media also contributes to impossible beauty and body standards. When you scroll through your feed every day and see pictures of other women with flawless skin or a flat stomach you can start to feel less if you don’t have those things.
However, what’s important to remember is that social media is not an accurate portrayal of anyone’s life. People aren’t going to post unflattering photos or stories of a failed presentation at work.
Social media is overwhelming skewed to show positive aspects of other people’s lives, leading us to feel like we must be lesser just because our life doesn’t look like an influencer’s Instagram account.
6. Toxic relationships
Toxic relationships can drain your happiness. A toxic relationship is one that has a negative impact on you emotionally, mentally, or physically.
Friends, family members, or coworkers that give backhanded insults, don’t support you, try to control you, etc. will contribute to your unhappiness. I think you’ll find that letting go of these relationships or distancing yourself from the toxicity will feel very freeing.
7. Staying up late
Not getting enough sleep will not only leave you feeling tired when your morning alarm goes off, but can also cause irritability, mood changes, difficulty focusing, weakened immune system, weight gain, etc. And obviously none of those things sound like they will contribute to a happy and healthy lifestyle.
If you work all day, it can feel like there just isn’t enough time all day to get everything done, so naturally sleep is one of the first things to go. Or maybe you get into bed at an early time and then find yourself on your phone for hours.
But trust me, getting a good night’s sleep can do wonders for your mental health and mood.
To start feeling rested, click here to read about 8 Healthy Habits to Sleep Better.
8. Excessive drinking
Another thing you should give up to be happier is excessive drinking. A night of heavy drinking will often leave you feeling sick and hungover the next day, regretting some of the decisions you made the night prior. And if you do this often, it can also lead to significant long-term health risks as well.
You might also be pushing down pain or anxiety with drinking instead of addressing the true issue.
If you struggle with excessive drinking, try working with a therapist or addiction specialist who can help you.
9. Negative self talk
Self criticism is so common, but can have a large impact on your happiness. If you tear yourself down every day, you’ll never let yourself just be happy with yourself the way you are.
My best recommendation for addressing negative self talk is to think about saying it to someone else. Would you tell a friend she’s fat or ugly? Of course not – it’s just mean! And that is exactly the point. We tend to say nicer things to other people than we do in our head to ourselves.
Be kinder to yourself and accept who you are right now to find happiness.
For more tips on addressing self criticism, click here to read 6 Ways to Deal With Negative Self Talk.
10. Comparing yourself to other people
The next thing you should give up to find happiness? Comparing yourself to other people.
You are your own unique, beautiful person. It doesn’t make sense to constantly compare yourself to someone else and make yourself feel lesser just because you don’t have something they do.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, identify positive goals you can set for yourself and work towards those.
11. Dependence on technology
We spend so much of our lives in front of a screen. We wake up and scroll through our phone before getting out of bed. Then we go to work and look at a computer all day only to come home and watch TV all night. And then to bring it full circle, we look through our phone one more time before going to sleep.
A dependence on technology can have an impact on our mental state and happiness. Being attached to your phone can prevent you from being present in the current moment. It can also lead you to feel more isolated and lonely by preventing more face to face connections with other people.
Try putting your phone away for a couple of hours. Go on a walk, read a book, or spend quality time with family away from technology.
12. Fear of change
Change is scary! It takes us out of our comfort zone and forces us to adapt to something new.
However, if you fear change to the point that you aren’t allowing yourself to develop and evolve you might be preventing yourself from finding true happiness.
If you stay in a job or a relationship that doesn’t make you happy because the thought of change and leaving is scary, you will never know if there is a dream job or soulmate waiting around the corner.
13. Guilt
Now of course, it’s impossible to never feel guilty about anything moving forward. In fact, some guilt helps guide us to make moral decisions.
However, guilt can also easily get out of hand. For example, so many women feel guilty about taking a little bit of time for themselves. Guilt is one of the most common barriers to self care – but I believe that by taking care of yourself first, you can better help others, and you’ll be happier.
Guilt can also lead us to never saying no. We’d rather overextend ourselves than feel guilty about saying that you can’t take on another project at work or telling a friend you can’t help them.
Want to be happier? Stop guilting yourself so much.
14. Bottling up your emotions
Something that else that might be preventing you from feeling truly happy is bottling up your emotions.
By keeping your emotions inside and pushing them down, you will never face the issue, address it, and be able to move on.
Try opening up to a friend or family member you trust. Or talk to a professional therapist or counselor to find healthy strategies to address your emotions.
15. Trying to control everything
To all my control freaks out there…I feel you! I love to plan. But the truth is, there are just some things you cannot control.
From the weather to the actions of other people, there are so many things that are out of your control. And by letting go of that need for control, you will be more receptive to letting things happen as they are meant to.
16. Grudges
Grudges are difficult to let go of, especially if they are a long time in the making. However, this negative energy in your life can be contributing to unhappiness.
While you don’t need to forget that someone hurt you and let them into your life (remember we are letting go of toxic relationships!), you also don’t need to harbor negativity.
Grudges help us feel like we have control of a bad situation that left us feeling hurt. However, find power and control in making the choice to let it go. Someone’s hurtful actions towards you can help you decide that person shouldn’t be in your life, but it does no one any good – including yourself – to hold the grudge to your grave.
17. Dwelling on the past
Dwelling on the past is another thing you should let go of to be happier. It can be easy to think about the past and regret the things we did or didn’t do in the past. But it’s in the past…you can’t change it!
Refocus to your life now and what you can change, instead of living in the past.
18. Focusing too much on the future instead of the present
Similar to focusing on the past, if you are too focused on the future you might be neglecting your current life and happiness.
By worrying so much about what we need to accomplish in the future to be happy, we aren’t enjoying where we are now. Be present in the here and now.
19. Fear of failure
Failure is one of our biggest fears. Worrying about failing can make everything feel really “high-stakes” in our mind.
We have a tendency to build things up in our head and make relatively minor things feel like it’s going to have a major impact on our life.
For example, you might have trouble sleeping the night before a presentation at work. You spend hours preparing for the meeting, causing yourself so much stress and anxiety about this one 10-minute PowerPoint. But in reality, what is actually going to happen if you don’t completely nail this one presentation. Will you get fired? Probably not.
A fear of failure might also be preventing you from taking any risks or being spontaneous.
20. Procrastination
Ah procrastination…we know it’s bad but sometimes we just can’t help ourselves.
While in the moment it might feel like it’s better to push things off, you are doing yourself a major disservice. Procrastination can cause stress, prevent you from reaching your goals, and contribute to your unhappiness.
For some easy to implement tips to stop procrastinating, click here to read How to Stop Procrastinating and Get Stuff Done.
I also recommend using a planner to organize your to-do list and plan your time efficiently. The Self Care Seeker self care planner has everything you need to beat procrastination and still make time for self care like healthy eating, exercise, skin care, etc.
Click here to get the best self care planner!
21. Playing it safe all of the time
Playing it safe is always going to feel easier than taking a risk. But while it may be easier, it’s not necessarily going to make you feel happier to always take the safe route.
Seize the day my friend! Take a few risks here and there, that’s what life is all about.
22. Excuses
Another thing you should stop doing to be happier is making excuses. There’s always going to be a reason you can give for not doing something.
But if you want to find happiness, you’ll need to shut down the excuses and start making power moves for yourself.
23. Focusing on the negative all the time
When you only focus on the negative of course you won’t feel happy! You’ll be thinking about everything that has gone wrong in your life instead of acknowledging the things that have gone right.
Life is always about balance. I’m not saying you should ignore the negative completely, but also let yourself see the bright side too.
24. Overanalyzing every decision
I am a self-proclaimed indecisive person, so I completely understand how easy it is to fall into the spiral of overanalyzing every decision.
Some decision have a large impact on your life, such as accepting a job offer, purchasing a home, etc. When making these large decisions it is important to consider the pros and cons of your choices and thinking through the impact of each course of action.
Other decisions like what to eat for dinner, where to take your next vacation, which new computer to choose etc. will have a much smaller impact on your life. When making these decisions, trust your gut and don’t overanalyze too much. You will save a lot of time and mental headache.
25. Blaming yourself for things outside of your control
Another contributor to unhappiness is blaming yourself for things that you can’t control. When you find yourself falling into this trap, take a step back and identify the different things in that particular situation you could have controlled vs. what was completely out of your control.
Learn from what you could have done differently and let go of the blame for anything you couldn’t have changed.
26. Refusing to ask for help
Asking for help can be very difficult. Because it means we have to admit we can’t do something on our own.
But asking for help is okay! No one is completely self-sufficient. When you are feeling overwhelmed, lean on your friends and family. That is what your support system is for!
I also recommend talking with a therapist or counselor who can help you work through whatever you are facing right now.
27. Trying to make everyone else happy
The last thing to let go of in order to be happier? Trying to make everyone else happy instead of doing what makes you happy.
Respect others and their needs, but you shouldn’t sacrifice what you need to be healthy and happy for someone else.
Those are the 27 things you should give up to be happier.
Happiness might feel like this elusive concept that we might reach if we just find that one more thing. But by shifting your mindset and reflecting on what you can let go of, you can start to feel happier.
Use the tips in this post to leave behind the negativity and move towards true happiness.
Comment below with the first thing you are going to be letting go of to be happier!
