When Self Care Becomes Self Sabotage: 7 Self Care Mistakes to Avoid
Whether your brand new to this blog or a loyal subscriber, you know that we loveeee self care at Self Care Seeker. However, sometimes the definition of self care can become a little foggy and actually turn into self sabotage.
I am the first to say life is all about balance…so girl, you eat that slice of cake after a bad day of work. But what happens when treating yourself in the name of self care turns into self sabotaging habits that actually harm your health?
As you build your own personal self care routine, it can be difficult to strike the right balance of taking care of yourself and making healthy, productive choices.
Self care is many things. Self care is making choices and engaging in activities that benefit your mental, physical, and emotional health. Self care is putting your needs first.
And…self care is also not a lot of things. Self care is not selfish. Self care is not “treating yourself” and engaging in unhealthy habits everyday in the name of self care. Self care is not one size fits all.
So in order to find the right balance that allows you to achieve true self care, there are some important common mistakes to avoid so you don’t fall into self sabotage.
This post is going to give you 7 self care mistakes to avoid in order to prevent self care from becoming self sabotage.
1. Indulging unhealthy habits in order to “treat yourself”
Self care is all about balance, but it can be easy to fall from treating yourself once in awhile to treating yourself all day every day.
For example, if you have a bad day and want to grab some pizza or your favorite dessert that is totally okay, especially once in awhile.
But if your every day life becomes a string of unhealthy meals and overeating in the name of treating yourself, then those indulgent habits can start to take a toll on your health.
And when this happens, it will actually have the opposite effect that you want self care to have. You will start to see your mental health diminish rather than heal.
2. Biting off too many self care activities
Another common mistake when it comes to self care that can actually lead to self sabotage is trying to do too many self care activities during your daily routine.
When you get excited about embarking on a self care journey it can be really tempting to try and do all of the self care things right away. You know exercising, journaling, meditating, skin care, etc.
But all of those things take time, effort, and sometimes money.
Self care is about taking time for yourself and addressing your needs. But there is also such a thing as too much of a good thing.
If you try to do too many things at once, you will likely set yourself up to fail and you’ll end up giving up on self care instead of building sustainable habits.
3. Trying to do it all on your own
Just because self care is all about you and your needs, doesn’t mean you are alone.
This is so important to remember!
Finding a support system and someone to share your journey with is not only a key aspect of sticking to a self care routine, but it is also enhances your self care process.
Finding friends, family, etc. who are also interested in self care can be a great way to keep yourself motivated, share tips, and have someone to lean on when you run into obstacles.
You can also always reach out to me for questions, comments, or just to say hi! I always love to connect with others and talk about self care.
4. Not being consistent
When it comes to engaging in self care, it can feel easy to put those activities aside when other “more important” priorities come up.
But that can begin to form a habit of putting yourself and your needs on the back burner for work and all of your other responsibilities.
Not only that, but you won’t see the full impact of any self care activity whether it’s a skin care routine or meditating if you aren’t consistently practicing on a regular basis.
And when you don’t see those results, you will start to feel discouraged and be more likely to give up.
5. Spending too much money on self care
Another way self care can become self sabotage is if you spend too much money on self care.
Sometimes self care spending can get out of hand between expensive skin care products, nail salon appointments, massages, etc.
And when the bills add up, that can have the opposite effect on your mental health than self care is supposed to have.
I suggest making a monthly self care budget so that you can avoid overspending and keep it to an amount that you are comfortable with.
Additionally, there are plenty of free self care ideas that you can do to get all of the amazing benefits of self care without spending a lot of money.
For 31 free self care ideas, read more here.
6. Using self care as an avoidance strategy
Another common self care mistake to look out for is using self care as an avoidance strategy.
Self care can turn into self sabotage when you avoid connecting with friends and family or addressing deeper issues in the name of self care.
Remember it’s always about balance. If you need some time to be alone, cancelling plans every now and then is the right move!
But if you start avoiding the deeper issues you are experiencing and calling it “self care” you might be starting to develop some unhealthy habits.
7. Not defining self care in the context of your life
Self care is exactly what it sounds like – it’s all about you! Therefore, what works for one person might not have the same impact for another person.
I love to recommend my favorite self care activities and tips on this blog so I can share my journey and what I’ve learned with other people. But just because something works for me, doesn’t automatically mean it will work for you.
That means you should always evaluate any self care activity in terms of how it fits into your lifestyle.
Choose self care activities that you personally enjoy and are excited to try. Find the right self care that will address your specific needs.
And of course, evaluate how much time and effort you have in your lifestyle for self care and adjust accordingly.
If you feel like you barely have enough time for yourself, finding simple self care activities that only take a few minutes might be a priority for you.
Do whatever feels right and trust your gut!
Those are the 7 self care mistakes to avoid so self care doesn’t turn into self sabotage.
It’s important to keep an eye out for these common ways self care suddenly turns into self sabotage in the blink of an eye.
And now that you know the mistakes to avoid…how do you know if you’re self sabotaging?
How to tell if your self care has turned into self sabotage…
To recognize when self care may have slipped into self sabotage, I recommend asking yourself a few questions:
- Will this choice benefit my mental and/or physical health?
- Am I making this choice to avoid something/someone?
- Will my future self be happy with this choice or will I regret it?
- Am I letting worries and self doubt impact this decision?
- Is this the right choice for my well-being?
- What are the potential negative impacts of this decision?
Using these questions as a guide can help you think through what the right decision and self care plan is for you and your lifestyle.
As always, remember finding the right self care routine for you may take some time so be patient and forgiving with yourself along the way.
Comment below with your favorite self care activity!
This is a great post! Not very many people talk about how thin the line between self-care and self-sabotage is! I recently fell into that trap myself, I started realizing that my “self-care naps” were turning into an avoidance strategy during my depression cycle. You explained this so simply and kindly – definitely gave me some food for thought!
That is a great example of how self care can become self sabotage. Really glad you liked the post 🙂